f forgotten about him. 
<br/> 
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<br/> 
<br/> friendly and cute but she and Thaddeus had homework to do. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?What?s up?? Thaddeus put on that same, friendly, flirty tone he used on the talk show circuit. 
<br/> He extended a hand to Jason but remained perched on the stoop. ?I?m Thaddeus.? 
<br/> 
<br/> Jason came down the steps. ?I was just getting my mail. Hey, I?m Jason.? He gave Thaddeus?s 
<br/> 
<br/> hand a firm shake. ?Nice to meet you.? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Pull up a step,? Thaddeus joked, scooting over a little. ?There?s plenty of room.? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Or we could go upstairs to my place and get a drink,? Serena suggested hopefully. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Why don?t I just grab some beers?? Jason offered. ?I?ve got some inside. Then we don?t have 
<br/> 
<br/> to bother with all those stairs.? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Excellent. I kind of like it right here. Nice breeze. Good company.?Thaddeus grinned at Serena. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Me too.? She smiled back, even though she?d much rather have been upstairs and alone with 
<br/> 
<br/> him. If he wanted a breeze, she could always open a window. 
<br/> Jason lived on the parlor floor, so it only took him a minute to dash inside and fetch three cold 
<br/> 
<br/> bottles of Heineken. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Thanks.? Thaddeus sighed as he cracked the top and tossed the cap onto the next step. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Long day?? asked Jason. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Seriously,?Thaddeus agreed.?What do you do?? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?I?m a summer associate at Lowell, Bonderoff, Foster and Wallace,? Jason explained before 
<br/> taking a long swig. A car honked loudly in the street. Serena looked at her watch. This 
<br/> conversation was really quite riveting, but frankly, she?d rather be soaking in a Bliss salt-and-sage 
<br/> bubble bath. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?They?re my lawyers!? Thaddeus exclaimed excitedly, like Jason was the most interesting guy 
<br/> he?d ever met. ?You don?t know Sam, do you?? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?I knowof him,? Jason replied. ?He?s a partner over in the LA office, right?? 
<br/> 
<br/> A gentle breeze lifted Thaddeus?s messy hair off his fore-head. ?He?s a real pit bull. God, I 
<br/> remember one time I was having this contract dispute with a studio and?? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?It?s a small world.? Serena yawned and pointed her ballet-slippered toes. 
<br/> 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Here?s to a small world.? Thaddeus lifted his bottle and clinked it against Jason?s and then 
<br/> Serena?s. 
<br/> 
<br/> She chugged the entire contents of her beer and inched a little closer to Thaddeus. Even if their 
<br/> conversation was deathly boring, she knew she was in the presence of two sweet young gentlemen 
<br/> who would probably carry her up four flights of stairs to her apartment if she happened to drink 
<br/> too much and couldn?t walk. 
<br/> 
<br/> After all, she?s always depended on the kindness of strangers. 
<br/> 
<br/> the runaway bride 
<br/> 
<br/> Blair Waldorf burst into the lobby of Claridge?s like a woman on a mission, which was exactly 
<br/> what she was. She had to get back to her suite and sift through the packages she?d had delivered. 
<br/> She was particularly interested in revisiting the show-stopping wedding gown that had been her 
<br/> week?s biggest quarry: at ten thousand pounds it was a splurge, even for her, but it was so perfect 
<br/> that it was worth every penny, and Blair knew her mother would agree. And if she didn?t, Blair 
<br/> knew her father, Harold J. Waldorf, would: he was a fabulous gay man living the high life in the 
<br/> south of France. If anyone understood the thrill of finding the perfect wedding dress, he would. 
<br/> 
<br/> She?d been meaning to schedule a weekend rendezvous with her dear old dad in Paris?surely it 
<br/> was time for Marcus to meet her parents? It was only a couple of hours away by the Chunnel, and 
<br/> it would beso fun to take a romantic train ride with her boyfriend and leave cousin Camilla behind. 
<br/> As she marched through the lobby, she spied the concierge standing behind her neat little 
<br/> desk.Perfect, Blair thought. She could haveher make the arrangements! Blair stormed across the 
<br/> marble tiles to where the woman stood, scribbling notes in some sort of leather-bound ledger. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?I need some assistance,? Blair ordered. ?Tickets to Paris.? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Madam! Ms. er, Beaton-Rhodes?? asked the concierge, a short, prim Asian woman sporting 
<br/> circular John Lennon?type glasses and a nononsense bob. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?It?sMiss Waldorf, actually,? Blair corrected her.
<br/> 
<br/> Not Mrs.yet. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Yes, of course,? the concierge apologized. ?Madam, I?m just confirming your reservation for 
<br/> another week. Is that accurate?? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Sure, sure.? Blair waved her hand. She had business to attend to. ?Like I was saying, I want to 
<br/> go to Paris. Like, immediately.? 
<br/> 
<br/> 
<br/> ?That?s fine, then. I?ll just need a credit card. For the room charge.? 
<br/> ?Can you just bill Lord Marcus?? Blair asked, irritated. ?He?s handling the whole thing.? 
<br/> ?I see,? nodded the concierge, making a note in her little leather notebook. ?And will his 
<br/> 
<br/> 
<br/> Lordship be visiting soon? We?ll need him to sign.? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?I?m not sure,? admitted Blair. She was on her way to set up the perfect romantic 
<br/> evening?lingerie, champagne, the whole thing?but technically she hadn?t spoken to him all day, so 
<br/> he didn?t even know that they had a date. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Well, I?m afraid we?re going to need to schedule a time for his Lordship to drop by and sign the 
<br/> 
<br/> papers,? the concierge replied firmly. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Fine,? snapped Blair. ?I?ll figure out a time.? 
<br/> 
<br/> A group of Italian tourists meandered by, randomly snapping pictures of Blair while she fumed. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Well, Miss . . .?
<br/> 
<br/> ?Waldorf,?she repeated. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Miss Waldorf, we?ll need to have that signature on the bill by tomorrow, or I?m afraid we?re 
<br/> 
<br/> going to have to release the suite. Wedo have an interested party.? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Fine,? Blair replied icily. ?I?ll call him right now.? Blair dug out her telephone and selected the 
<br/> only number in her speed dial. Lord Marcus?s phone rang and, as she could have predicted, there 
<br/> was no answer. She opted not to leave a message. She?d already left three that day. She didn?t 
<br/> 
<br/> want him to think she was insane. 
<br/> 
<br/> Like buying a wedding dress is sane? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?He?s not answering,? Blair informed the concierge. ?He?s very busy at work right now, but I?m 
<br/> 
<br/> sure I?ll hear from him tonight. I?ll arrange for him to come by and settle the whole matter, 
<br/> okay?? 
<br/> 
<br/> It had only been a few days, but Blair had already lapsed into a Madonna-like English accent, 
<br/> clipping certain consonants and using phrases like ?the whole matter.? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?That?s fine.? The concierge nodded. ?Just do remember that he?ll have to sign the bill by 
<br/> tomorrow or we?ll be obliged to release the room. I do hope he?ll find a moment to get away from 
<br/> his wife and come by.? 
<br/> 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Excuse me?? Blair demanded. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?I?m sorry?? the concierge replied snottily. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?What. Did. You. Say?? Blair could feel the tips of her ears glowing red with fury. For a moment 
<br/> she forgot about the dress waiting for her upstairs in her luxurious suite. She forgot about the maid, 
<br/> who would happily mix Blair whatever drink she requested as soon as she walked in. She forgot 
<br/> about the inroom massage she?d been itching for. She forgot about Paris. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?I believe I said, I hope he?ll find a moment to get away from his life and come by,? the 
<br/> concierge answered sweetly. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?You did not,? Blair whispered tightly, leaning across the counter, her voice very quiet. ?You 
<br/> saidwife .? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?I?m sure you misunderstood,? the concierge replied. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Well, I?m sureyou misunderstood!? Blair shouted. She had never been shy. ?I heard what you 
<br/> said.? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Yes, ma?am. Of course. I?ll just need to have his Lordship pop by to sign the papers and the 
<br/> matter will be settled.? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?He?s not married. She?s hiscousin ,? Blair went on. ?And I?m his girlfriend.? She was 
<br/> practically shouting. On the other side of the lobby the Italians turned to look. 
<br/> 
<br/> The concierge blushed deeply. ?If we can just keep our voices down.? 
<br/> 
<br/> ?Fuck that.? Blair had had it with England, with everyone?s polite prattle, with the British 
<br/> insistence on quiet dignity. Blair wasn?t interested in quiet or in dignity. Fuck this bitch, fuck 
<br/> Britain, fuck Lord Marcus and fuck his horsey cousin Camilla. She suddenly wanted nothing more 
<br/> than to be home. ?You know what? I don?t want the room. I want you to call British fucking 
<br/> Airways and book me a ticket immediately. One way, first class. To New York.? Blair dug into her 
<br/> bag and found her black American Express card, which she tossed onto the desk angrily. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?One way to New York, first class,? repeated the concierge. ?Virgin has flights at eleven daily. 
<br/> I?ll see if we can get you a seat.? 
<br/> 
<br/> Virgin. How appropriate. Not. 
<br/> 
<br/> ================================== 
<br/> ABC Amber LIT Converter v2.02 
<br/> ================================== 
<br/> 
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<br/> Disclaimer: All the real names of places, people, and events have been altered or abbreviated to 
<br/> protect the innocent. Namely, me. 
<br/> 
<br/> hey people! 
<br/> 
<br/> I?m sure some of you have seen it, and I bet you couldn?tbelieve it any more than I could. There 
<br/> I was, happily traipsingdown Madison Avenue, in search of some new washed-cottonbeach 
<br/> cover-ups when what do I see? The worst sign ever:Closed. Closed? It?s not what you think 
<br/> though: it seems thatBarneys? creative director and dandy-about-town, GrahamOliver, is besties 
<br/> with a certain fashion-inept indie auteur andagreed to close up shop for a few days so the cameras 
<br/> can roll. 
<br/> 
<br/> I just hope they reopen on schedule: the word is a certain star-let?s debut performance might 
<br/> need a bit of tweaking. Things areso grim, in fact, they?re shooting every scene she doesn?t 
<br/> appearin first, in hopes that all her practice finally makes perfect. 
<br/> 
<br/> Now that Barneys is closed for a while, I?m thinking of leavingtown for good?no more of this 
<br/> popping back and forth oncharter jets and helicopters. I know I said that things don?t getcooking 
<br/> in the Hamptons for a while, yet?I usually wait until theFourth of July to hunker down for the 
<br/> season?but I?ve beengetting reports about some intriguing activity out on the island. Imight have 
<br/> to check it out myself. It?s so hard to be me: howcan I be in two places?or three or four or five?at 
<br/> once? Notthat I?ve ever had a problem with it before. 
<br/> 
<br/> summer survival guide 
<br/> 
<br/> I?m not going to name names?unusual for me, I know?butthere are plenty of repeat offenders out 
<br/> there. So as a refresher course, here?s everything you need to know about: 
<br/> 
<br/> 1) Tanning 
<br/> 
<br/> Obviously, the real thing is best. If Mother Nature isn?t complying, airbrushing is acceptable, but 
<br/> remember, whether poolside or in that little spray chamber, you must go naked: tan lines are a 
<br/> turn-off. And remember to wax two days before and exfoliate! Your streaks and splotches aren?t 
<br/> fooling anyone. 
<br/> 
<br/> 2) Brows 
<br/> 
<br/> For starters, you know you?re supposed to have two, right? Now put down the tweezers. No, 
<br/> throw them away. Go see my friend Reese at Bergdorf?s ASAP. And I don?t want to hear any 
<br/> complaining about how it?s $45 per brow.
<br/> 
<br/> 3) Waxing 
<br/> 
<br/> It?s bathing suit season, so landscaping isn?t optional. If you?re going to be wearing that Eres 
<br/> 
<br/> 
<br/> bikini, we?re all going to get a show. Personally, I endorse the traditional Brazilian (no pain, no 
<br/> gain). And while I?ve been known to opt for a precious little Swarovski crystal appliqu? tattoo, 
<br/> there really is no need to gild the lily, is there?
<br/> 
<br/> your e-mail 
<br/> 
<br/> Q: 
<br/> Dear GG, 
<br/> I heard there?s a pretty racy film making the rounds on theInternet, and it proves that a certain 
<br/> someone has been ina movie before. It was shot on location in Central Park,with that stud N. Her 
<br/> hair looks kind of brown and curly,but it?s got to be S, right? 
<br/> ?Cineaste
<br/> 
<br/> A: 
<br/> Dear Cineaste, 
<br/> You?re going to have to get your facts straight: there was a movie, from, like, a year ago, and no 
<br/> one involved in that production has anything to do with what?s filming here right now. That 
<br/> well-endowed star is off making art?and who knows what else?in Prague. Au revoir! 
<br/> ?GG 
<br/> 
<br/> Q: 
<br/> Dear GG, 
<br/> 
<br/> There?s this really annoying girl in my yoga class?I?m just trying to get in shape and keep busy 
<br/> while my best friend is at, like, art camp in Prague for the summer?but she?s always going on 
<br/> about how yoga is a ?way of life.? Anyway, after class the other day she was gushing to the 
<br/> teacher about some new ?spiritual book lover,? crush and he sounded suspiciously like someone I 
<br/> know?only not. Like his evil twin. Or his good twin. Anyway, I?m confused. Are there pod people 
<br/> in town replacing everyone with clones or what?
<br/> 
<br/> ?Scared
<br/> 
<br/> A: 
<br/> Dear Scared, 
<br/> This is an intriguing development. I doubt it?s aliens, though?sometimes it?s nice to just enjoy a 
<br/> 
<br/> little summer fantasy. Haven?t you ever pretended to be someone you weren?t on vacation? Try it 
<br/> sometime: check into your hotel as the Principessa de Medici or something like that, and don?t be 
<br/> surprised if management sends up an enormous fruit basket or some Dom Perignon. Stretching the 
<br/> truth sometimes has its merits. 
<br/> 
<br/> ?GG 
<br/> 
<br/> sightings 
<br/> 
<br/> B paying an excess-baggage fee at the Virgin counter at Heathrow. Souvenirs for friends and 
<br/> loved ones, or was it that oversize wedding dress garment bag? N picking up a few staples, like 
<br/> Visine and condoms, at White?s Pharmacy in East Hampton. D enjoying a very healthy fourveggie 
<br/> smoothie at Soho Natural. Maybe he?s shaping up for swimsuit season? S might want to take a 
<br/> page from his book?after sneaking out of rehearsal early, she headed straight to the Tuleh sample 
<br/> sale near F.I.T. and then made a not-so-brief pit stop at Cold Stone